Advice for tall teens

Maybe it is just because I flipped to an episode of Degrassi today during lunch, but I found myself thinking back to middle school and high school this afternoon. I started growing taller than my friends in about grade 7 (age 12/13 I think?).

I can remember a kid named Jesse doing an impression of how I walked (hunched over) in grade 9 and being very embarrassed. I can also remember my brother measuring my height on a wall in our basement and me freaking out at the difference between the line the year before and the current line. I scratched out the new line and never measured myself on the wall again. I even looked at that line when I was home this past weekend. I can remember comparing heights with various celebrities I liked and convincing myself that either they were taller or I was shorter.

I also remember some good things like easily finding a dress for formal events because dresses fit me better than my shorter friends. I was able to get into some bars without ID because people assumed I was older. AND I always got to splurge on jeans so that I could get ones that were long enough.

I was poking around and found an interesting related website: How to accept being tall as a teen girl (http://www.wikihow.com/Accept-Being-Tall-As-a-Teen-Girl)

This is a site on wikihow written by who-knows-who so I took it with a grain of salt, but thinking back to being a teenager I really don’t think this advice would have helped me. The article tells girls to just “be optimistic” because “being tell isn’t really as bad as you think it is”. According to the article, girls need to accept and even take advantage of being tall. I say easier said than done! In my experience, and in talking to other tall women I know, comfort with height comes with time and age. One of the women I spoke to explained to me:

“In general, I have always felt self-conscious about being tall.  All through the adolescent years I was totally self-conscious about my pants being too short.  And it’s not like skirts were any better – I always felt like skirts looked much shorter on me than they did on other girls simply because of my height.  I avoided short skirts all-together because I thought I looked like a prostitute. I hated the fact that I was always so much taller than boys…it made me even more terrified to talk to them!  Those adolescent years were pretty annoying as a tall girl.  However, during that time, any time I would mention my frustration with my height to anyone shorter than me, they would say something like “oh, but you’re so tall like a model!  I wish I was tall.”

She goes on to talk about today (she is now in her mid 20s)

“Like you, I have found that I really don’t mind it much anymore. I think that it has a lot to do with getting older and becoming more comfortable and confident in your own skin.  I sure as hell wouldn’t go back to being a tall, awkward teenager for all the money in the world!!!”

And I think that last sentence pretty much sums it up! But for anyone currently experiencing those awkward teenage years don’t forget that a little awkwardness builds character.

Heels vs. Flats

To wear heels or not to wear heels...

Like many other tall women I know, I have avoided wearing heels as much as possible…even when it has meant a few pairs of very UGLY shoes. Ok, maybe more than a few pairs. I’ve also had the experience of feeling bold in the shoe store and buying heels or just higher shoes. But inevitably, I’ll wear them around my house right until I’m about to go out the door and I’ll take them off and slip on some flats. I’ve given away brand new shoes because I can’t seem to get myself out the door in them.

I have a pair of black kitten heels that I’ve worn to an embarrassing point of near destruction. This summer I found a replacement pair with a bit of a bigger heel at Winners and went on a rampage to a many, many Winners stores to find them in my size. I wore them to a wedding (very proudly) and actually have told a number of my friends that I HAVE HEELS! Still… on a number of recent locations my destroyed old shoes have been worn at the last minute rather than the new slightly higher heels. I’m going to wear them out again and write a blog about it sometime in the next couple weeks.

Last week I was flipping channels and stopped to watch a bit of The View (almost as embarrassing as my shoes). The ladies were having an intensive conversation about Carla Bruni wearing flats to an important function. Apparently, since Carla married Nicolas Sarkozy, she’s been spotted in flats nonstop because she is the taller of the two. Why is this news?? I decided to google Carla Bruni and flats and found a number of sites also talking about Carla’s shoes:

“You’ve probably noticed she’s switched out her platforms for flats; but that doesn’t mean Carla’s compromised her style.” http://fabsugar.com/slideshow/1509095

“On Thursday, Bruni-Sarkozy wore a gray trouser suit and a double-breasted purple knee-length coat — and, as she has throughout the trip, flat shoes. Bruni-Sarkozy, at 5 foot 9, is several inches taller than her husband.” http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,342670,00.html

“Notice CARLA wears blue ballerina flats, flats have been a staple footwear for the 5 foot, 9 inch brunette beauty, since NICOLAS is only 5 foot, 5 inches. Wonder if CARLA is doing that for NICOLAS, or maybe she has been told to…” http://www.zimbio.com/pictures/6NhBfn1a6LY/French+President+NICOLAS+SARKOZY+Wife+CARLA

“Ms Bruni-Sarkozy has eclipsed her husband, in more ways than one, during their whistle-stop tour. His heels may also have overshadowed the politics.” (This is a caption to a photo of the couple’s feet – she is in flats, he is in heels. See the blog photo.) http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/7316345.stm

“A picture of elegance. But again, conscious of her Amazonian stature, Ms Bruni-Sarkozy finished off her floorlength, blue silk gown with a pair of flats.” (I HATE the reference to Amazonian… this is on the BBC!) http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/7316345.stm

I say wear what you like and are comfortable in, but I also think when you are tall you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone a little. For us, this means sticking out even more than we normally do, so shorter friends, please understand why we often stick to flats.

In Carla’s case it looks like we’re also getting into a whole other issue… when the man is shorter than the woman in a relationship. There is lots to say on this, so I’ll save it for my next blog post.

At the apartment

Apartment Incident #1

Over the summer I had to go on an apartment hunt to find a place to live when I moved back to Waterloo for school. I looked at a few buildings but wasn’t overly impressed. In one of the buildings you had to go to the second basement and around about 8 blind corners to get to the laundry room. My mom was not impressed with this laundry situation AT ALL. We then headed to a considerably nicer building with big, clean apartments AND a safe laundry room on the main floor. My mom was overjoyed as I’m sure you can imagine. But the best part about this particular laundry room was that I happened to meet two people in it who were looking to sublet a room. They were moving overseas for a year and their daughter would be staying in their apartment and needing a roommate. Six of us – my mom, my dad, the laundry doers, the superintendent, and I – rode the elevator to check out the apartment. On the way up, the superintendent turned to me and said “I think you’d get along with Meghan (my potential roommate), you’re both so tall!”

What about both of us being tall made her think we’d get along so well?

Hahaha, I don’t think I have an answer to that question. Perhaps it is the shared experience of sticking out a little when you just want to blend in or searching desperately for flat shoes that aren’t ugly. Maybe we could have bonded over our mutual need for extra long pants. Regardless, we’ve gotten along very well so far. My roomie is much more pro-tall than I am and I’m hoping she’ll rub off on me.

Apartment Incident #2

A couple of weeks ago I headed out of my new fabulous apartment to go somewhere that I can’t remember. On my way out I took a short-cut through the moving room and came across an elderly woman waiting for someone to pick her up. When she saw me she practically yelled “Oh my goodness, you are SO tall!” I paused and smiled I think. “You really are quite tall”, she said again. And for some reason I felt a need to explain to her that yes, I was quite tall and that I hadn’t liked being so tall in high school but now it was growing on me, so yes… I am tall.

Why did I feel the need to go into such a life story with this woman?

Again, I’m not quite sure the answer but looking back it seems like I might have been trying to justify my height somehow. The woman then told me about her 6’0” tall daughter who was coming to pick her up. She told me that her daughter was able to find a husband taller than her and then beamed at me. Like I’m thinking, thank God there is hope! I left to go to my car just as her daughter pulled up. When her daughter got out of the car we gave each other that same smile and nod that I’ve shared with many other tall women in stores, parking lots, school, etc. etc. The smile says “hi there, I don’t know you, but I understand that little bit of you that some others can’t.”

What is this blog all about?

Welcome to my blog. This blog is a work of autobiography for a graduate course in Online Life Writing at the University of Waterloo (UW) in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada. I will be using the experience of writing this personal blog to complete some of my course requirements.

I’ve decided to write my blog on the experience of being a tall woman. How did I pick this topic for my blog, you ask? Well, since this work is autobiographical I was searching for something that I
(a) have experienced for a significant amount of time,
(b) have fairly strong opinions about,
(c) can write about from multiple angles – the serious angle, the humorous angle, etc. and
(d) believe is a salient feature of what makes up ‘me’.

Now you are likely wondering a little more about me and how tall I am. I find it funny that as I have grown taller my name has continued to shrink. I started out as Katherine Anne when I was born on February 21, 1983. That name didn’t stick for long and I went by Katie for most of my life. I don’t remember thinking that I was taller than average until I was about 12 or 13 when I started to gain inches on my peers. Now at about 5’10” or so I’ve cut a vowel from my name and just go by Kate.

What does someone named Kate who is about 5’10” or so do to fill her days? I recently started school again to complete my Masters degree in Rhetoric and Communication Design at UW. I’m working part-time doing marketing for a big technology company. I like to spend time with my family and my friends as much as possible. I love to garden – especially orchids (I have six). I don’t play basketball or volleyball professionally (a shock to many people who talk to me about my height). Oh, and I can reach things that other people can’t! You will rarely if ever catch me walking around in high heels.

I think that is enough about me for now. Over the next six weeks I’m going to discuss how being tall has shaped certain experiences I’ve had and my day-to-day life. Part of my goal is to embrace my height more than I already have. You’ll hopefully see through my blog that I’ve come a long way since high school, but to be honest sometimes it is still a challenge. I’ve reached out to a few other tall women I know to get their take on the topic and to get my mind thinking broadly about height. Thanks to Ansley, Avery, Jenn, Meghan, and Whitney for their discussions with me prior to starting this blog.

I look forward to the journey ahead!

Kate