I’ve mentioned this topic in a couple earlier posts and it is definitely a hot topic for tall girls – dating. As if dating isn’t difficult enough sometimes, those of us who are above average height have additional challenges. Think about it… on a blind date a tall girl not only has to think about where to go, what to say, what to eat, what to wear… she also has to wonder what if she’s taller. And if she is, how will her date handle it?
I know logically that there is absolutely no reason other than convention that the girl should be shorter than the guy in a heterosexual relationship, but for the purposes of this post I’ll be illogical because I know that many tall girls (and probably short guys) do see this as an issue. Think about relationships where the man is shorter (Tom and Katie, Tom and Nicole (whaha), Carla Bruni and Nicolas Sarkozy) and how central the discussion of the height difference is in the media. Clearly tall girls aren’t the only ones taking notice.
People ask me fairly often if I only date guys that are taller than me. I always answer that I don’t do it on purpose, but I am generally interested in taller guys. If I’m scoping out a room I’m looking at my eye level and above, generally not looking below. So I guess the answer would be yes… but not on purpose. My ex-boyfriend was pretty much exactly the same height as me. He would often comment on my height when he would wear very flat Puma shoes and I’d wear regular shoes or even tiny heels. Clearly he was conscious of it as I was as well. Lots of people would ask me who was taller – it actually got pretty annoying.
So that got me thinking… where can a tall girl meet a guy guaranteed to be taller? Well… where does anyone go to locate something difficult to find… the internet! There are a couple of websites that are targeted exclusively to the taller person.
http://www.tallpersonals.com/ Meet people with altitude! (how clever!)
This website describes itself as “an internet website for tall singles looking for love, dating and romance; people who’s common bond is their taller than average height and a personal relationship is their goal. Finding love, dating and romance in real life is enough of a daunting task itself; now throw HEIGHT into the mix and you know what we mean!” Clearly the owners of this site recognize the challenges here. It is interesting how they create an in-group with the reference to “you know what we mean” – this type of writing helps people feel a sense of community with the site (whoops, the English student in me is getting out of control). The site goes on to explain that they “cater solely to that small niche group of singles who would like to look their date square in the eyes and not the top of their heads OR those TALL people admirers! Many are not as fortunate to be able to stand heads above the rest and prefer to date people who do!”
http://tallpeoplenetwork.com/
Looks like a generic dating site (they say they have over 70). They’ve just made a tall version of their other sites. This site has no passion for tall dating. It doesn’t look promising to me.
Anyway, this isn’t really a topic you can come to a conclusion on… just some thoughts for now.
I guess you could try hanging around certain types of athletes:-)
I think how you view this depends a bit on how tall you are. If you are close to the average male height there are still a lot of guys who will be taller and you might be choosey. There are so many reasons why you may want to go out with a guy or not, adding this may not make a huge difference.
At my height only a few percent of guys are taller than me. If I limit myself to this group, there is very few that will have the other traits that I like. Fewer than 1 in 5000 guys is as tall as my friend, so she either has to focus on tall clubs or basketball players if she wants taller. Both of us gave up on that sort of thing.
I think when you are taller than most adult males when you are 12, you develop a different outlook. I’ve seen some who are always hunting for that prince charming and either not finding him or settling for a guy who is mr trouble.
I won’t say I totally ignore height. I’m partly deaf and someone who is shorter or taller by a head is difficult for me to understand when we are walking. But there are a lot of guys who are taller than a head below me.
A bigger problem is finding guys who don’t mind a taller girl. Much of my dating isn’t formal dating, but just going out as friends. The ones that are good sometimes develop into something deeper. That is a better approach for me that the “shock and awe” approach, which is what a friend calls me on a blind date.
If a guy can put up with a few stares and strange comments, it usually says something good about him.
Hi Jheri,
You make a good point – it isn’t necessarily the height – it is finding a partner who is comfortable with the height difference and also being comfortable yourself. And you are right, finding someone like that reveals a lot about their character.
Kate
P.S. The “shock and awe” approach is pretty funny